"If you save yourself for marriage you're a bore. If you don't save yourself for marriage you're a horrible person. . ."
That's the opening line of Kacey Musgraves' song Follow Your Arrow. The song goes on to talk about how we need to just do what we want no matter what anyone else thinks because we're never going to make people happy. "You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't." This list in today's post is something I wish someone would've sent me when I was in high school. Or even just five years ago. I work with high schoolers every day - high school girls especially. I feel so passionately about lifting them up and empowering them to believe that there is no guy out there worth tears (unless they're happy ones), and there's no one in the world worth losing your happiness over. Girls are mean. Boys are mean. Be a shining star in the darkness of the world. So basically, I was sitting in front of my computer last night thinking about some life events that have occurred over the last week and just decided to speak on them. Y'all know I get like this sometimes. And if you ask the people who know me in real life, I'm like this all the time.
So, here ya go. A list of things that I'm without-a-doubt certain of right now. Enjoy!
one // Love/life is not a fairytale.
Ok, so you've got that one friend who got swept off her feet and carried off into the sunset. ONE FRIEND. I'm telling, y'all, it isn't rainbows and butterflies. And I feel like I'm old enough now I can say this. Remember that time I thought I got the fairytale and he turned out to be a complete and total tool? (That reference is for those of you who have been around these parts a long time) He was actually more than just that, but my mama reads here so I won't say those words. But you know what? It's ok that it isn't a fairytale. Life not being a fairytale is what makes it worth it and fun and something to be proud of surviving.
two // Dating sucks.
Plain and simple. Modern dating absolutely sucks. And I'm fairly certain all single females in half their right mind would agree. There's no easy way to do it. There's no fun way to do it. There's nothing about it that makes me excited or giddy. It's a dread, honestly. Sarah Belle did an awesome video talking about the subject. My favorite quote from the whole chat? "The person who cares less is the one who wins." Why does that have to be the standard? Why can't we just act like we care, if we do? You know why? Because society has created this culture where the one who "cares" must be crazy and possessive and clingy and (gasp) ready to settle down.
three // Size doesn't matter.
I feel like society is finally coming around to this notion, but I just need to put it here as a reminder. SIZE DOESN'T MATTER. Self-satisfaction matters. Self-respect matters. Self-esteem matters. HAPPINESS MATTERS. Got it? Okay.
four // Giving one hundred percent is easier than half-assing it.
At least for me. I'm a one-hundred percent kind of person. It's all or nothing at everything I do. And I don't say that like "Oh, look at me! I'm so awesome!" It's just who I am - it's who I've always been. And to be honest, it's really hard to be that kind of person in the world in which we live. Most people are looking for a hand out. People don't want to work for things. The youth of America feels entitled to something. And I just spend my days trying to figure it all out. (And I don't mean that in the political sense, folks) If I didn't earn it, I don't want it. And if you're not a one-hundred percent kind of person (refer to number two), then I just don't have any time for you. Sorry. Thanks. Bye.
five // Some days you just want to be mad.
Now I know this is in contradiction to what I said in the intro about letting anyone steal your happiness. But hear me out. . . I try to give every day my best - my best attitude, my best effort. But there are just some days that you want to be mad. Someone gets under your skin and you just need to get your blood pressure up for minute and come back down. Moments like this give me a reality check. It's okay to just be mad for a while. If in doubt, refer to number one.