January 19, 2016

Thoughts on 2016 So Far



Well, friends, 2016 has been a hectic start. I just can't seem to get it together. As evidenced by the lack of blog posts! Real talk for a minute - I just took my Christmas tree down this week, I've basically been living off of hummus and pita chips, and my laundry is piled way too high. There are so many home projects that I'm dying to start and an office full of stuff that's taunting me. I don't get really personal here very often, but today is an exception.

Life has just really been kicking my butt lately. I'm turning 29 on Friday. I can officially say I'll be 30 next year. This is a big deal. At least for me it is. I have so many thoughts going through my head that it's a little overwhelming to write them all down. Some crazy stuff has happened in the last month - like, I probably should write a book because you simply can't make this stuff up. I've been feeling behind at work, with friends, in relationships, and just life in general.

I've taken a long break from social media and it's felt really good. And to be honest, I'm not sorry about it. When you don't really have anything to say and you're just feeling out of control - it's best to say nothing at all. Winter always puts me in this really weird place emotionally. Like somewhere between anxiety on overload and I don't give a (bleep). I've also been reading all these articles about finding happiness, finding the man of your dreams, what you deserve, how to manage anxiety, well...you get the idea. And to be real honest, those articles have only been feeding the chaos lately.

I've been spending a lot of my time watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, every Adele interview I can find, and sappy movies (ahem, Pride & Prejudice). I mean, that very sentence pretty much sums up the month of January. So, here I am, sitting on the corner of 20-something and 30 feeling completely out of control. I went to a one-year-old's birthday party last weekend and it hit me (very hard) that I am in a very different season of my life than almost everyone around me. Even on the internet - every blogger I follow is experiencing something significant.

Married? No. In a relationship at all? No. Pregnant? No. A mom? Nope. 

When you put it that way, it makes you stop and wonder exactly what it is you're doing. Now, I'll be the last one to get on the "oh, the clock's a-ticking" bandwagon, but really - is it?? I don't really know. Maybe. This isn't so much about living the "single life" as just pondering exactly what stage I'm in. It often feels like a non-season. . .you know, if that's even a thing.

I never ever want you all to think it's a pity party when I write blog posts like this. It's really more about me stripping everything down and saying "hey, real life doesn't have an instagram filter, ok?" Whatever you're feeling, there are so many other people out there feeling the exact same way. Out-of-control crazy girls unite?! We've only got each other cause everyone else is updating their TheKnot.com profile. . .


9 comments:

Erin said...

Thanks for being open and honest! It's so refreshing to see a blogger write this kind of post! I personally took a break from Facebook back in November (deactivated my page) and I don't miss it at all! I just feel like there is so much fakery (is that a word?) and competition and I just wanted a little privacy back. Furthermore, my dad passed away last year and so many people have disappointed me following that so just needed a break. You do you!

Kelly said...

Isn't life funny like that? I just want to encourage you that despite the fact that you're not necessarily taking the beaten path right now, God never calls us to be "normal" or "typical." His plans far surpass the cultural status quo, and you are exactly where He has placed you, for now. The most inspiring thing we can do is attune our hearts and ears to wait for the next cue He gives and leap on it. Lots of trusting and leaps of faith here. I am excited to see what your path holds and love following along with your blog!!

anna trefz said...

hang in there girl!!! you do NOT have to have life all figured out by 29!!! (I say from 39--and for the record, I don't have it figured out either now!) I will tell you that those significant events will come for you...maybe not at the same time as others or the prescribed/expected "timeline"...but they will come! I am not going to say ages (to subject more arbitrary "timelines" onto you), but I will say I met my husband at a later age than you are...and while it certainly doesn't make it any easier when you are lonely or wondering "why am I "behind"", I will say...hang in there! you need to love yourself and be comfortable with yourself first and the rest will follow...

Laurie P said...

Julie - I have to admit that while I'm sure this post was difficult to write, it was refreshing to read. I often struggle with comparing my life to others (who doesn't) but realizing and relishing in your own happiness is the greatest gift of all. Don't stress about blogging or social media... take a hiatus, take a break. You owe it to yourself to stay sane, stress-free, happy and positive! And as a 30-something already, I can safely say that it gets pretty good. :) Wishing you all the best in life and love, sweet girl. xo

Primp & Proper said...

THIS post!! First off, I have felt the same exact way lately. It's just the feeling of everything being so overwhelming, that you don't really want to do any of it or deal with it, ha! Know you're not alone. But if I've learned anything, it's that these assessment points do happen. And just think, while many are home with crying babies, you and I are taking fabulous trips to Charleston!! Stay strong my friend! You're gorgeous and have SO much going for you!!! Xo

Kristyn

Sarah Wyland said...

Oh girl, you are preaching to the choir! I feel the exact same way. I'm turning 30 in April and it's like "wait. How is this happening?" No relationship, babies... Most of my friends are in the same boat, but its like what are we doing? Am I missing something? My solution was to buy a ticket to London... If I don't have a husband and babies, may as well travel, I guess.

But I get it. I've been waiting for something to happen, regardless of what that something is, and it just feels like life is stagnant. We'll get through it though!

Caitlin @ Candyfloss & Persie said...

I'm sorry you're having a difficult January or moreso, a difficult chapter. I know life and it's problems can inflate even more when we start the compare game. I am married but I feel the way you feel in so many other areas of my life. I feel like I'm not getting it right. I think just the inclination to compare ourselves to others make our valleys a bit deeper. Hang in there for now! I suppose life ebbs and flows in this way. xo

Girl Meets Bow said...

Oh friend, I feel the exact same way! I've thrown more bridal & baby showers than one girl should when she's single and almost thirty too! It's a scary place to be but I can see the Lord working every day have have joy and hope in his plan! Hang in there- I'm praying for you! XO

Katie said...

Julie! I'll agree with the others. This post was refreshing to read because just like everyone else has said, it's so normal to feel this way. I will absolutely say I'm with you on everything! I just took a long blogging break too and it was nice to leave the phone, not rush home to jump on the computer to finish (or start) tomorrows post, stress about content, numbers and what's next. Not to mention everything else you have to deal with in life! Sometimes our brains and bodies just need a friggin break. And as for the different season in life thing I personally think it's just because God's preparing us for something really awesome! So enjoy your time to yourself and get excited about what's to come!

Also - with my lack of blogging and keeping up with my friend's blogs I missed your birthday!!! So happy belated birthday!!! ;) Miss you, love you, can't wait to see you! xoxoxoxox!