April 21, 2010

"It feels like barb wires and razor blades!!"


What do you get when mix fifteen fifth graders and 'the talk?' 

Some freaking funny conversation, that's what! 

Yesterday, I was in the front office and the health teacher comes in and tells me about the sex education lesson that the fifth grade had just had. I was dying, y'all. Seriously, I have the best job ev-er!


Setting: Fifth grade classroom, 15 students learning about sex. The lesson was supposed to be strictly about the anatomy, you know, the proper names for all that stuff and where it is. Well, the kids were not satisfied with just the anatomy, they wanted to know how the sperm and the egg 'get together.' After that explanation the following conversation happened between a precocious young man and our health teacher.

Student: "So, how does it feel??"
Teacher: "Like barb wire and razor blades!"
Student: "Is it like when you play with it??"
Teacher: "Well, kinda...."
Student: "I'm just gonna say it, is it like when you masturbate??!"
Teacher: "That will make you go blind."

The health teacher then says, "Prepare yourself. You're gonna have those kids coming to your office!"


Imagine me literally cackling in the office hearing this story. I died!! I love my job!!

Happy 'hump' day! Lol, I couldn't resist!!



(Photos via weheartit)

18 comments:

LeAnna said...

Such a cute story, and so funny.

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Hahaha Oh dear!! That was a much needed laugh this morning! Kids say the cutest/oddest things ever!

I'maNolaGirl said...

Hump day! Too funny. I don't think I knew what any of that was until way later. This precocious student sound pretty well versed on the subject. Scary!

Ashley said...

Your life is not real. Just sayin'. TOO FUNNY!!!

brooke said...

that is hilarious!!! you definitely do have an enviable job!!! the things that kids say would be enough to entertain me all day...

Rhianna said...

That is so funny!
It makes me glad I don't work with kids. I wouldn't know what to say in those situations.

Twana said...

OMG!!!! That is so funny! He should have said "That will make hair grown on your hand" hahahaha that's what my gym/health teacher told us!!! That gave me the smile I needed! Happy hump day to you!!

Twana

littledaisymay said...

Ohhh my gosh! That's funny!

Lace said...

Ha, I love it! That health teacher really knows her stuff.

Blicious said...

HILAIROUS!!!!

haha

~KS said...

Hahahahaha.... omg. Too funny!!

♥Aubrey said...

I get the point that the health teacher is trying to scare these kids...but really: "razor-blades & barbwire". Lol

I want to hear the updated convo today...after they went home and talked to their parents. That would be a hoot!!!

Kora Bruce [Dixie Lust] said...

oh my gosh. You do have the best job - too freakin funny.

meredith said...

bahahah, too funny! i'll tell my kids the same!

Rasha said...

Sooo funny i laughed so hard at this.

Tara said...

hahaha!! kids are too funny! thanks for the laugh! :)

Brittany said...

Haha this is too funny! I literally laughed out loud :-) Kid's are something else lol.

Heather said...

That seems so young to be learning about sex! Maybe I am freaking out cause I will have a 5th grader in the fall, eek!!! This was really funny though!! Thanks for the laugh!!