June 6, 2021

It's Gonna Be Ok


Sometimes the simplest messages offer the most comfort. The last couple of months have been rough - physically and emotionally. I share this to be vulnerable with you all and to let you know that I have the deepest empathy for whatever journey you're on right now. May was mental health awareness month, and I couldn't even pull myself out of my hole long enough to acknowledge it. As someone who works in mental health, I was disappointed in myself. Truly, friends, sometimes life just requires a long hit on the pause button - however long it takes. I'm wired to be in constant motion, getting things done, and I've never had much patience. When things in life require me to "trust the process" it's hard. Almost as hard as the thing I'm dealing with. That's what life has been recently for me, though - a waiting game. Waking up every day and wondering if I would feel better than the day before. Then going to bed and praying that tomorrow would be the day. A tiring cycle of fighting to get yourself back and feeling like it's a battle that you'll never win. "My mind and body are betraying me" - I've thought this often lately. My depression had never reached this valley before and I was scared. My therapy sessions were just an hour of me crying and then crying more when I would leave. Crying felt good and cathartic. But also exhausting and unexplainable.

Your brain plays really nasty tricks on you when you're at your lowest. It's okay to not be okay. The only way out is through.

Over the last week or so I've been feeling more like myself. Every day is finally better than the one before. It's gonna be ok. 

**

My instagram friend, Brooke, surprised me a couple weeks ago by drawing the picture at the top of this post from a photograph that I recently shared on instagram. I was so touched and excited that I cried. That particular day had started out especially hard, but her kindness turned it completely around. Instantly. 

Wherever you are on your journey, it is going to be ok. Rain brings rainbows.

xo, Julie

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