August 18, 2016

Why Being Single at 29 Is What's Best For Me

(Image: Jose Villa)

When you're almost thirty and single everyone has an opinion. Everyone also has someone they think you should meet. And while I'm grateful for the matchmakers in my life, apparently this is where God wants me to be right now. As some of you who have been reading and following me for a long time know, I was engaged several years ago. I really thought it was the worst time of my life. And in that moment it was. That's probably the lowest point I've had and it's actually liberating to say that now. In that moment, my life was put into perspective in a way that it never had been before. I realized what was important, who was worth it and who wasn't, and what needed to change. That time in my life, shaped my world longterm and as crazy as it sounds, I'm thankful. 

So, why, in my last year in my twenties, is this the right place for me? Five reasons.

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IT'S GIVEN ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MYSELF
It's so true that we never stop learning - especially about ourselves. Never lose interest and excitement in new experiences and tapping into a part of your personality that you didn't know was there. Being single into this stage of my adult life has allowed me to continue figuring things out on my own. It's been an eye-opening experience. In the last few months, especially, I've fallen back in love with where I live, the culture here, and my place in this world. 

IT'S MADE ME TEST MY INDEPENDENCE
My daddy raised me to know how to do a lot on my own and take care of myself (for those times when he's not around). Still living alone (and two hours from my parents) there's something every day that tests my independence and makes me proud of myself.

IT'S GIVEN ME TIME TO DECIDE WHAT I WANT IN A SIGNIFICANT OTHER
Just when you think you know what you want...
If I could talk to my 16-year-old self, it's astounding the mistakes that probably would've never been made. My breakup several years ago also shaped my answer to the "what are you looking for" question. Communicator, traveler, creative - just to name a few. Never sell yourself short on knowing what you want. 

I'VE BEEN ABLE TO WORK ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
This has been the most significant piece of this experience for me. I never realized how far I had strayed from the path He was laying for me until I came back to it. 

I COULD'VE SETTLED BUT I DIDN'T
If it means being single for the rest of my life, I won't settle. I've made myself that promise. I've seen what falling into the "biological clock" trap can do to people, especially women. Life is hard. Love is hard. And until it's a without-a-doubt moment, I simply can't do that to myself or someone else. You only get one shot at life - why not make this part of it completely magical?

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I know there are so many of you out there like me who have doubts if you'll ever find someone who's made to care for your heart and do life with you. I don't have those answers. I wish I did. What I do know is that there are a lot of us in the world who aren't looking for perfection, but we do have expectations. And that's okay. Right now, at this stage of my life, there's something else that I'm meant to be focusing on and learning about. Timing is everything and nothing that's worth it, is ever easy.
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2 comments

Sharyn said...

I was single throughout my entire twenties and didn't meet my husband until 31. We married at 32 (36 for him) and decided to not have any children. I am so grateful for those many, many pre-hubby years. The reliance on the Lord, the close female friendships, traveling, making my own money - all of it was completely worth it. I was a whole person when I finally met him. Enjoy your time - it's a gift.

Kelly said...

Yes yes yes!!!! So grateful you shared this. Be encouraged that you are on the right path, and how incredible is it that God has illuminated the direction he's wanting you in!

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